Self

Inner balance whatever you do

Work

Being more visible and valued at work

Life

Directing your life from a more powerful place

Today’s post is about dealing with the ‘bad stuff’.

We all have times when things just don’t seem to be working: we didn’t get the promotion we were promised; we’re arguing all the time with our partner; our child is sick at the MOST inconvenient time; we lose a lot of money we invested in something…the list is endless. It’s very easy to feel helpless in the midst of this and wail “Why is this happening?” and “What have I done to deserve this?”

While we see everything as happening TO us we are trapped in our helplessness. But when we realise that things happen FOR us and not to us then we can look at them in a different light and we can ask “What is this situation telling me? Do I need to make a new choice around this situation? Who can I ask for support? Who do I need to tell what is happening?” The Gods are not in the least interested in the detail of our stories. They are interested in how we DEAL with them. The disasters that happen in our lives are an opportunity to step up.

When I was going through the dark days of my marriage break up (which took 5 years) I sometimes asked “Why does it have to be like this? Why is there so much pain?” The answer I always got back was “You’re in the right place and you’re right on time”. I found that very comforting. It helped me realise that I was only dancing on one piece of the jigsaw – that I couldn’t see the whole beautiful picture. The trust I had in the essential goodness of the Universe gave me the strength to ‘step up’ and do my best – if only for today – and know that ultimately all would be well.

Powerful Woman Tip – See everything that happens as happening FOR you and not TO you.

For a weekly Powerful Woman Tip delivered by email to your inbox sign up at www.powerfulwoman.net and don’t forget to download the FREE report first – Watch Your Language – about how the language we use about ourselves limits our power.

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We all know that there is no such thing as balance in the life of a working woman! Right? It’s all about compromise, shifting priorities and making choices. For many working women our very busyness has meant that we have no inner balance (who has time for that?), we aren’t visible and valued at work (too busy in the background to put ourselves forward) and we aren’t in control of our lives (success is getting to the end of the day without a major disaster!)

Even young career women who aren’t mothers may start to feel their power diminishing as each day passes, and they are dealing with negative comments and seeing their male colleagues being promoted over them.

Whatever your situation, you have to remember that you DO possess an authentic power which, for a variety of reasons, you might not be accessing. The issue is not about changing the circumstances of your life (maybe we have a baby, maybe sick parents and maybe we like our job actually) even if you could do that. You have total control over how you LIVE the circumstances of your life. We have to be able to access our inner power to bring to all the aspects of our lives. 

So here are 10 things you can do today to start to access that inner power:

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Finally I got round to reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In (having read loads of reviews about it).  And some things I was glad about.

Thanks Sheryl for finally speaking out. Some of us have been saying the same things for years but you are the COO of a large global organisation so chances are someone will listen and at least realise that this conversation isn’t over.

Thanks Sheryl for including tons of research and relevant stats which can silence those who still think a) there is already an equal playing field – women have equal chances for promotion and b) we don’t need more women in leadership positions anyway. So no need to keep on arguing about THAT. Mind you some of the facts are still disturbing e.g. the US is the only industrialised nation in the world that doesn’t have a paid maternity leave policy – I mean – really? Unbelievable!

Thanks Sheryl for the message you gave women in your original TED talk telling them to have the ambition to run the world – “Because the world needs you to change it. Women all around the world are counting on you”.

And women around the world Sheryl were counting on YOU and in some ways you let them down.

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Today’s blog post is a 3 minute video. You can find the list of videos to date by clicking the Videos tab at the top of the page. Each video will be about a Powerful Woman Tip – an insight or suggestion for you to think about, or that you can implement quickly and easily. It is very easy for our personal power to shrivel up and become VERY small as we get buffeted about by the circumstances of life. It takes constant effort to remind us of our own magnificence. I salute your magnificence!

The video today is about protecting your energy when you have people around you who are draining you. Enjoy!

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So you have a few close friends who you have shared many happy, and sad times with. You have been friends with them for many years and you love them dearly.  But lately, it seems that their conversations have become more and more negative – or maybe it’s just that you are now noticing what you weren’t aware of before. You are starting to feel more like a social worker than a friend and you are actually getting sick of hearing the same tales of misery over and over again. Yet your friends are not in a good place and it seems cruel to take a hard line with them. On the other hand, you want to protect yourself and lately you are getting more and more dragged down to their negative level and are feeling your own energy resources depleted.

What to do?

First, here are some important things to remember.

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I find that attitudes to work/life balance are changing. At one time, women never even thought about it – they just got on with doing a job, running the home, sorting out family issues and maybe listening to an odd relaxation tape when they couldn’t sleep.

Then work/life balance became an issue that organisations decided to take seriously so they looked at what they could put in place to support working women – working mothers especially. So women’s expectations were raised. Now they were led to believe that balance was possible and they now desired it and even expected it. Did things improve then? NO! Not only did their lives not improve – but they now felt aggrieved whereas before they just got on with it. Not only that – men were also aggrieved that work/life balance seemed to be considered a women’s issue when many men were also struggling with travelling too much, working all hours and never seeing their children.

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For those of you who don’t know, David Beckham is a super sports soccer star. He and his wife Victoria (ex Spice Girl) have just had a baby girl – Harper Seven – after 3 boys and David posted some rather beautiful pictures on his FaceBook page. One of him with Harper and one of Harper and Victoria. So far so good.

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I’m starting from the perspective that you ARE already powerful! You may not have realised it yet and it may be well hidden under many negative messages you have been given but the more you tune into your higher self, the more connected you will be with your personal power. So – assuming you are strengthening your personal power base day by day here are some ways to keep hold of it…..

Only say sorry when you really are

Of course it’s important that if you ARE sorry that you say so but its amazing how many women overuse that word – we say sorry when we want to start a conversation; we say sorry if someone disagrees with us; we even see sorry when someone bumps into US! Using the word ‘sorry’ inappropriately, and often, puts you in a position of ‘less than’ and gives the message that we are sorry we even exist! Monitor yourself for a week by eliminating the word altogether. If you ARE sorry use a word like ‘regrettably’ or ‘unfortunately’. By resolving not to use the word ‘sorry’ at all you can easily see just how many times you are tempted to say it.

Move out of blame and make new choices

When things are going wrong….

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Today’s blog post is a 2 minute video. You can find the list of videos to date by clicking the Videos tab at the top of the page. Each video will be about a Powerful Woman Tip – an insight or suggestion for you to think about, or that you can implement quickly and easily. It is very easy for our personal power to shrivel up and become VERY small as we get buffeted about by the circumstances of life. It takes constant effort to remind us of our own magnificence. I salute your magnificence!

The video today is to remind us about where we want to be – in a state of calm no matter what is happening around us. Enjoy!

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So you have a new job – a promotion – and you’re delighted. You’re putting in long hours to establish yourself quickly. You’re getting to know your team and your first quarterly results are due – you’re excited. And yet – you are aware of some things going on that you hadn’t bargained for and you’re starting to feel the pressure…

Here are some of the pressures you might be facing and what you can do.

BEING THE TOKEN WOMAN

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