I’m starting from the perspective that you ARE already powerful! You may not have realised it yet and it may be well hidden under many negative messages you have been given but the more you tune into your higher self, the more connected you will be with your personal power. So – assuming you are strengthening your personal power base day by day here are some ways to keep hold of it…..
Only say sorry when you really are
Of course it’s important that if you ARE sorry that you say so but its amazing how many women overuse that word – we say sorry when we want to start a conversation; we say sorry if someone disagrees with us; we even see sorry when someone bumps into US! Using the word ‘sorry’ inappropriately, and often, puts you in a position of ‘less than’ and gives the message that we are sorry we even exist! Monitor yourself for a week by eliminating the word altogether. If you ARE sorry use a word like ‘regrettably’ or ‘unfortunately’. By resolving not to use the word ‘sorry’ at all you can easily see just how many times you are tempted to say it.
Move out of blame and make new choices
When things are going wrong….
as long as we can make it someone else’s fault and blame them, we can stay in anger and self righteousness and feel justified in giving vent to our bad feelings. The problem with this thinking is that it paralyses us! Of course things go wrong in our lives sometimes and we get disappointed and hurt and angry. But we’re not supposed to stay there! Nothing will change what has already happened so we need to assess what WE want to do now. As soon as we move into that mode our power juices will begin to flow and we start taking charge or our lives again.
Choose when to react to someone’s angry outburst
It is very tempting to be drawn into someone’s emotional turmoil when they attack you verbally – especially if you feel their anger is misplaced. When we are attacked we want to defend ourselves and often we want to attack back. But as soon as you become embroiled in someone’s negative emotion cycle you are getting on their wheel and going nowhere! If you allow THEM to dictate how and where you respond you are giving them your power on a plate. Stay calm, don’t engage with them at this level. YOU decide how you are going to respond to what they have said and YOU choose the time and the place. And every time it happens see it as another opportunity to practise keeping hold of your power in stressful situations.
Decide how you’re going to play your lead role (of your life….)
It’s your life and you are playing the lead. Not only that you get the write the script! How good is that! So decide on the characteristics for your character – strong, assertive, determined, honest, competent, inspirational…and start to act in role. And when people try to put you down and write a different character, remind yourself that they are not in charge of the script – YOU are! And you are the director as well as the lead role. Rip up their script – don’t learn their lines and don’t act like the person they have made up. You have the final say so play to your strengths and play to your power.
Say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do
This is hard when we have been brought up not to disappoint people. And hard when we think that saying no means we reject someone (because when someone says no to us WE feel rejected). When we say no we are refusing a request NOT rejecting a person. If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do and you find yourself about to agree, buy yourself some time and say “Let me think about that and get back to you”. THEN work out how you can refuse the request. Every time you agree to do something you don’t want to and then resent it or feel like a martyr you give away a little bit of your power – to THEM. You need your power with you, inside you, all the time.
The different ways of saying no, and many more ways you can keep your power are explained in the Reclaim Your Life: Reclaim Your Power Programme.
Til next time
With warm wishes
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